u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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