I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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