He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
