i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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