I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
