Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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