I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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