Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you still have your period?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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