It's Friday. Sex?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
