Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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