well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
