Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
