dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
