He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
