so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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