Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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