I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You are the jesus of drinking
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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