Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
