I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
