Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
