Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
