ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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