Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
