GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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