this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
