Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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