Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Soap is not a condiment
smell my finger.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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