Already got asked if we're dating
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
