Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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