Just fell off a train. Bad.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
