I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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