i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
