Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
