Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
