Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Your cock deserves a montage
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
