North Korea, Best Korea!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
