Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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