Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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