my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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