It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
