Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
