im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
