ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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