he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
