My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
