I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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