Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
