She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
