ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
