just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
where are my eyebrows?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
