I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
