Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
