There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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