I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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