I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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