Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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