Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
