I'm gonna have a badass scar
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
and you fell through a lawn chair
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
