If i come over, it means nothing
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
